How to Crush Your Goals- Despite Depression
By: Sochima Richard
For as long as I can remember, I have always been familiar with the textbook definition of depression, a mental state that affects a person’s mood and behaviour, causing intense feelings of sadness. It wasn’t until the full force of its symptoms attacked me that I truly understood what it means to be depressed. “Is this what it really feels like?” I asked myself when I finally hit rock bottom.
It all began in March 2023. I had started the year with a straightforward plan. I was hopeful that it was going to be my best year yet. After all, I was in my last year as an undergraduate. It was so exciting because I had waited for that moment all my life. But my enthusiasm didn’t last long and was replaced with dread. I found myself asking:
“What if something goes wrong with one of my courses?”
“It's my last year in school. What’s my life going to be after?”
“Am I doing enough?”
Photo by Ivan Bandura on Unsplash
The fact that it was already a hectic school session didn’t help; it only increased my anxiety. You see, when you are a person who battles anxiety, the sudden appearance of difficult circumstances can break down your balance. You’re doing fine one minute, and the next, you’re struggling to understand anything going on. That was precisely how I felt.
I was beginning to struggle with being productive. Despite liking my remote writing job, I could no longer focus; it became a fight to turn on my computer and write. I would open a new document and stare at the cursor blinking at me— willing me to write—but my fingers remained immobile.
Photo by Joice Kelly on Unsplash
A Realisation
My goals for the year were not going as smoothly as I had envisioned. It wasn’t until I had a run-in with some friends who pointed out my downcast demeanour that I fully accepted I’d been wrestling with depression. The following day was what changed things for me. A talk with my friends made me realise that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. I already knew this, but somehow, I had forgotten what anything really meant. I was locked in my own world, willing the year to end fast because I felt I needed a new start. But I realised I didn’t have to wait for the year to end, because even if the new year came and I didn’t actively try to achieve my goals, nothing would change. So, I started immediately.
Photo by Pâmela Lima on Unsplash
Clearly Define Your Goals
I brought out my journal and wrote about the rollercoaster of emotions I felt during the year, my fears concerning my goals, and how fulfilled I would feel after achieving them. Journaling became a way for me to track my progress and also sort of an accountability checker. Doing that made me feel more free than I had in months.
Break Big Goals into Small Steps
Next, I created a to-do list with checkboxes beside each task. I often found my attention straying, so I broke down each of my goals into smaller actions, using bullet points, which was a game changer.
Photo de Afif Ramdhasuma sur Unsplash
Creating Reward Systems
Along the way, I rewarded myself after achieving any goal because doing so boosts dopamine levels. My reward system ranged from watching three episodes of an anime series at once to treating myself to ice cream or pastries.
One of my goals was to start and complete my thesis. I was already behind schedule because I was feeling very unmotivated. After I decided to mark my progress 10 pages at a time, treating each completed 10 pages as a milestone and rewarding myself after, I breezed through most of the process and was done before it was due.
Taking Care of Myself
I exercised and listened to music more in the following weeks, and my mind came alive. Despite the difficulties, I could study more, make time for my friends to discuss, and enjoy our final university year. Depression is like a strong hand holding a toddler down, and exercising forced my body and mind to wiggle free from that hand.
As I write this in December, I’m relatively in a much better headspace. Thankfully, I was able to graduate college with very good grades. On days when I didn’t feel motivated, I listened to my favourite Spotify playlist until I felt good again. Now that I’ve graduated, I am hopeful for the future. I still get hit by phases of depression, but being willing to navigate life regardless has helped me handle situations better.
This experience made me reevaluate my life, and I dare say it also strengthened my resolve not to let depression win. I’m confident my self-worth is not defined by my capability to achieve goals by a specified timeline. There might be some setbacks, but I have learned to be kinder to myself because as long as I am willing to keep putting in the effort, I will get the satisfaction of achieving my goals sooner or later despite my challenges. So far, this mindset has helped me greatly.
My hope is that after reading this piece, your determination to execute your dreams will triumph over any discouragement you may have as you wrestle with your unique mental health challenges. You, too, can achieve your goals when you find/create a system that works for you.
Sochima Richard holds a BSc in Mass Communication. She has a curious mind, loves art, and is excited by the wonders of nature. Sochima has been featured in magazines like Black Ballad, AMAKA, Àyánfé and others.
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