How to Combat Catastrophic Thinking
by Kiana Blake-Chung
You know when people say things like: “I don’t know who needs to hear this today” and it’s really just a message for themselves?
Well, this is for me. (And whoever else needs to hear it.) For context, my beloved cat of almost 17 years is close to passing. He lives in another state and visiting him puts me in quite a conundrum financially and with my work schedule. This time frame is coinciding with the 18th anniversary of my dad passing and I am concerned history is repeating and I will be faced with another circumstance where I’m robbed of a goodbye.
My mind has been planning for the worst. The worst kinds of plans. And I’d like to remind myself that this doesn’t have to be the case.
This cognitive distortion is known as catastrophic thinking. Psych Central defines catastrophizing as “irrational thinking that may cause you to assume that adverse outcomes will occur.” When you fixate on the adverse outcome you are predicting, it pulls you away from reality and catapults your emotions heart first into the fear, despair, and stress of a future that isn’t certain.
That’s my precious angel baby boy.
Here are some things I (am struggling to) remember:
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Why am I in agony in advance? There will be plenty of time for that later, if it comes to it.
I can prepare for the worst case scenario. I am actively running through my safety plan with my support system. There are people who I will be able to lean on, and I will accept their help, and ask for their comfort when I need it.
I have a lot to live for. I’m going to be seeing Dermot Kennedy and Beyoncé (my two favorite artists) in just a few weeks time! I don’t want to miss out on their shows. I don’t want to miss out on Wicked’s 20th anniversary show that my lovely friend surprised me with tickets to. I don’t want to miss out on bachelorette parties and my month long 30th birthday celebration.
I don’t hate my life. I have so many people I love and who love me. I have the cutest apt. I have a job that I enjoy and I’ve made a life for myself that I love living.
I have survived this before. I shouldn’t have had to, and it seems unfair, but I have done it once and it didn’t kill me then. And if I had let it I would have missed out on the past 18 years. A lot of good has happened in those 18 years.
Regardless of the outcome, I am blessed. My life isn’t cursed. God does love me. I am blessed abundantly, consistently! Nothing that happens will change that.
I hope if your mind is prone to traveling to the worst places, that these provide some guideline for how to reframe your thoughts and redirect your soul out of troubled waters. These will be on repeat these next few weeks as I begin my preemptive grieving.
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